Monday 16 May 2016

OK FINE HERE ARE SOME GAME OF THRONES THOUGHTS

QUICK NOW BEFORE I ACCIDENTALLY START BLOGGING GAME OF THRONES AGAIN:

1) "If I don't watch over you, father's ghost will come back and murder me." Just some light hearted Stark family bants. (Seriously though, when was the last time we had two Starks together in one room?)

2) "Oh, that was me, I totally did that," says Brienne, lightly fingering the hilt of her broadsword, wandering casually past Davos and Melisandre as they discuss Stannis' death.

3) If there was a time when we thought Olenna Tyrell might die of old age, that time is past.

4) The Lord of the Wandering Accent returns to the Vale from....well, who the fuck knows, eh?

5) The Lannisters deserve their own theme song and some kind of tooling up montage.

6) Major mistake to kill off Roose Bolton. Ramsay is no Joffrey. The most entertaining thing we can pray for now is ignominious surprise death at the hands of some rando having a bad day (which, in Westeros, is all days).

7) Tyrion "actually my best friend is a slave" Lannister.

8) Tyrion "12 Minutes a Slave" Lannister (idk, pick your favourite)

9) YES KHALEESI WALKING NAKED FORTH FROM THE CHARRED FLESH OF HER ENEMIES AS SHE PREPARES TO LEAD GROVELLING LEGIONS IN A BLOODY CAMPAIGN OF SLAUGHTER THAT IS WHAT DANAERYS' STORYLINE IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE


Bonus thought from last week: I am sure when we find out the reason why Hodor used to speak and now doesn't, it will be hilarious and heart-warming because there is NO NEED TO MAKE HODOR TRAGIC.

Monday 2 May 2016

Better Titles for Captain America: Civil War (minor spoilers)

Captain America: The Avengers 2.5
Captain America: Actually Winter Soldier Though
Captain America: You Don't Need Another Spiderman Origin Story (Just Yet)
Captain America: Dad and Dad are Fighting Again
Captain America: Did You Know The Russo Brothers Also Directed Community, Pt 2
Captain America: We Know What You Came For: To See The Avengers Beat Each Other Up: Sigh, Here You Go
Captain America: Contains Minimal Captain America or America In General
Captain America: Bureaucracy Strikes Back
Captain America: Hey Remember Hawkeye Though
Captain America: No We Are Not Making Planet Hulk
Captain America: Sorry Your Dad Was Like Obsessed With Me
Captain America: Pew Pew Pew

and finally
Captain America: Take A Good Look Because You Literally Will Not See These Guys Together Again For Another Two Years While We Introduce A Whole Bunch of Randos You Don't Really Care About

I jest, but have you seen the Doctor Strange trailer? It looks dumb af.